NPR - Strunked

Guest today on NPR:

1) "...I returned back to my prior life."

STRUNKED - where else can you go if you return?

Correction: "...I returned to my prior life."
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2) "...we really bonded together over those months."

STRUNKED - tough to bond separately.

Correction: "...we really bonded over those months."

NYT - Strunked Again

July 29, 2008 - "A Bumpy Road to a New Era of Chinese Deal-Making"


"Foreigners have been working under the old laws since 2006, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. Still, it appears that the implementation of the new law has thrown up a new toll booth on China’s deal superhighway, which has taken off like a rocket lately".

STRUNKED - why can't the new law just throw? why does it have to be up?

Correction: "Foreigners have been working under the old laws since 2006, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. Still, it appears that the implementation of the new law has thrown a new toll booth on China’s deal superhighway, which has taken off like a rocket lately".

New York Times - Strunked

July 29, 2008 - "A Bumpy Road to a New Era of Chinese Deal-Making"

"Up until now most local jurisdictions in China were receptive to foreign investment, and approval for transactions was relatively easy to receive, according to China International Business."

STRUNKED - how else do you get approval?

Correction: "Up until now most local jurisdictions in China were receptive to foreign investment, and approval for transactions was relatively easy, according to China International Business."

New York Times - Strunked

July 29, 2008 - "A Bumpy Road to a New Era of Chinese Deal-Making"

"The Olympics have taken nine years of planning to get off the ground, but the road to draft, pass, and enforce China’s anti-monopoly law has taken an astounding 14 years. The new law shifts power on M&A approval and enforcement away from local governments to the central government in Beijing. Now all M&A transactions, foreign and domestic will be reviewed by bureaucrats in the capital".

STRUNKED - where else is a shift "from" going, but away from something or someone....

Correction: "The new law shifts power on M&A approval and enforcement from local governments to the central government in Beijing".

The Rules

The Elements of Style

ELEMENTARY PRINCIPLES OF COMPOSITION: Omit needless words

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

Many expressions in common use violate this principle:

the question as to whether	whether (the question whether)
there is no doubt but that	no doubt (doubtless)
used for fuel purposes	used for fuel
he is a man who	he
in a hasty manner	hastily
this is a subject which	this subject
His story is a strange one.	His story is strange.

In especial the expression the fact that should be revised out of every sentence in which it occurs.

owing to the fact that since (because) in spite of the fact that though (although) call your attention to the fact that remind you (notify you) I was unaware of the fact that I was unaware that (did not know) the fact that he had not succeeded his failure the fact that I had arrived my arrival

Who is, which was, and the like are often superfluous.

His brother, who is a member of the same firm His brother, a member of the same firm Trafalgar, which was Nelson's last battle Trafalgar, Nelson's last battle

As positive statement is more concise than negative, and the active voice more concise than the passive.

A common violation of conciseness is the presentation of a single complex idea, step by step, in a series of sentences which might to advantage be combined into one.

Macbeth was very ambitious. This led him to wish to become king of Scotland. The witches told him that this wish of his would come true. The king of Scotland at this time was Duncan. Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth murdered Duncan. He was thus enabled to succeed Duncan as king. (55 words.)

Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth achieved his ambition and realized the prediction of the witches by murdering Duncan and becoming king of Scotland in his place. (26 words.)

Strunked

Scope and Content

I have invented a new word. As 'xerox' and google' have become acceptable verbs, I propose that 'strunk' be added.

strunk

Verb 1) identify violations of plain English style, rules of usage or principles of composition. 2 firmly quash the offending verbiage.

This blog will focus on verbosity - needless use of words which violate plain English style.

"He wrote he was going to revert back to his prior method - and was immediately strunked." Or
"Joe reduced it down to its bare essentials - and got strunked"

Each was strunked because of violating plain English style: one does not revert back; one reverts. One does not reduce down; one reduces.

I have taken the liberty to appoint myself as 'official strunker' of needless words - words which add nothing to sentences but which people use all of the time in their writing. Offenders will be strunked.

Opportunities to strunk occur daily - in newspapers, magazines, on websites, in blogs, on radio and television. It's everywhere and must be stopped!!!!! The violation will be identified and mercilessly strunked. A correction will be made.

Shall we begin.